The Magic 8 Ball
Will he, will I, will we? How long will it take? Will it be worth the wait? Will I be another notch in his belt? Will he call me afterward, even if it’s to say “fuck off” or “you were a lousy lay”? Will we truly connect on an emotional and intellectual level in bed and out? Will I want to lay there afterward and “sleep” with him? Will I want to gather up my things afterward and scoot out the door only to delete him from my friends’ list immediately when I get home and pray he feels the same?
There is no predicting the dynamic that will unfold between three, four, or more people in the same bed. It can be bliss, or it can feel like a trainwreck. You could be off to an incredible start, chemistry in text is progressing well. You may feel like you’d travel to the other side of the continent just to give it a whirl. And, then you think, dear Christ that’s completely absurd. There are loads of fabulous, eligible men here in San Francisco–three of whom you had in your bed just last weekend!
Perhaps it isn’t a new relationship. Rather, it’s a relationship that has been sexual and you’re trying to fold it back into your life in a more productive way (see Breaking the Golden Rule). At times that feels like trying to gather up the dust after a nuclear explosion to see what you can reassemble with just a little salve. Tonight, I am of the opinion that talking about it any more is a complete waste of time. We have discussed each other’s insecurities, boundaries, emotions, feelings, worries.
We three agree that none of those things outweigh the positives of sharing an intimate experience with someone that we both feel strongly about and are attracted to. J and I are both interested in bringing back the “close threesome” to our list of repeated experiences. We want to find or develop a chemistry with someone, a friendship that involves terrific foreplay and some of our more “vanilla” likes such as cooking and music…only to retire to the bedroom for a beautiful evening of lovemaking with our dear friend.
December 30th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
I’m part of an occasional close threesome myself, and I have to say that having an intimate, trusting relationship like that, where we’re free to play with each other and to be really good friends too, outside of the bedroom, is very rewarding for me.
I’ve been thoroughly enjoying your blog for a while, by the way - always a delight to read x
December 30th, 2006 at 9:00 pm
Roger, thanks for leaving a comment and confessing to your lurking about the blog. I confess to doing the same about yours–was too fearful of tiring your poor hand if I were to admit all my naughtiness for the year…but my panties have been about my ankles for at least a week now in the assumed position…
We’re bringing an unexpected third in our bed this week–search the site for “boiled bunnies…” I’ll be sure to write all about it in the new year.
December 31st, 2006 at 9:00 am
and i’ll very much look forward to it
December 31st, 2006 at 10:40 am
Too much talking is never good unless it leads to healing sex.
Unfortunately, we’re all human, and so prone to abrupt returns to junior high school mode. Does she REALLY like me? Am I pretty enough? Will he call me tomorrow? And then he/she does and suddenly the endorphins are coursing through our brains….
December 31st, 2006 at 11:52 am
Yes, I find myself hoping very much for the healing sex. I spend too much time in text in some cases…
And, if we’re talking about you, Tom….I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure she likes you.
December 31st, 2006 at 6:21 pm
I’m glad to hear you think she does. There are times when I wonder. I feel like the naive younger man and she the older woman, when our years are reversed. Poor Goethe, I remember his comment well: “if it weren’t happening to me, it would be hilarious,” or something less funyy in German.
December 31st, 2006 at 6:23 pm
Often times an agreed upon vulnerability is all that two need to let things blossom in their own right. That or a couple fabulous bellinis made by a deliciously handsome Italian.