Between the Sheets

So you’ve made it to the seventh deadly sin - pride. (You can see Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Envy, and Wrath by clicking on those links.) Pride in bed is a doozy. Someone who’s proud in bed may have a lot of sex, but that person won’t have sex often with the same person and definitely won’t have good sex. And that’s a real shame. Well, not for me, because I’m not the douchebag that will be sleeping with a proud person.

You know the type of guy - or girl - I mean.

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Let’s not dance around the subject - a lot of people reading this right now are not in monogamous relationships. And hey, that’s fine. In fact, around here, baby, it’s preferred.

However (and this is a big however)…if you’ve got more than one partner, there’s a good chance that you partners have more than one partner too. And when that happens, there’s a good chance of giving into one of the most dangerous of all of the seven deadly sins - wrath. Wrath isn’t just anger, although that is part of it. Wrath is a burning, passionate anger, fueled by envy, jealousy, or vengeance usually. Wrath isn’t just a fuming anger that simmers as you sulk. Wrath is violent. Wrath requires action.

Wrath leads to trouble.

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If you think your partner is cheating on you, go ahead and be jealous. After all, jealousy is not one of the seven deadly sins. People use “jealousy” and “envy” to mean the same thing, but really they’re not. Jealousy is that fear you get that you’re somehow going to lose what you’ve got or that emptiness you feel when you are worried about being inferior. Envy, on the other hand, is that longing feeling when you don’t have something that you really, really want. You are jealous of the cute girl at the party flirting with your man. The cute girl at the party envies you for having landed the man of your dreams.

But enough about definitions. I want to talk about sex.

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I’ve had a handful of sexual partners. Let’s just say…enough to make some people blush (although, friends, you’re the one reading a sex blog, so I’m not sure I’ll make you blush at all). I’ve been with men that were packing so much it hurt and men that made me wonder if they were even in at all. I’ve seen cockrings and piercings and shaved balls and bulging veins.

And I have to say that the vast majority of these men knew what’s up (and I do mean up). They worked with what they had and *most* or the time, we both left the bedroom at least mildly pleased. Sure, there’s been the occasional mishap, like the virgin who didn’t know which hole to finger (poor guy was so confused) and the drunk who passed out in the middle of everything, sploging cum everywhere at the last second (and for that, I left him sleep in the pool of his own bodily fluids while I snuck out the door). But really, what can you do but laugh and move on.

Except when it comes to the deadly sin that gets me most upset–sloth.

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Power. Money. Sex. It’s a dog-eat-dog world. Are you greedy in bed? That may seem like an easy one to diagnose. After all, tallying who gets off first is the measure of greed…or is it?

Nah. Take me for example. I don’t get off at the drop of a hat, and neither do other women I know. That doesn’t mean that my partner is greedy, just because he knows just how to move to get off in about 15 seconds. On the contrary…doesn’t that make me a bit greedy? He’s ready to go and I’m not, so he has to work harder to get me to that point where I’m ready to come too.

Maybe greediness isn’t so simple.

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glut·ton·y [gluht-n-ee]: noun, excessive eating and drinking, greediness in eating.

We’ll talk about greed a bit later this week, but really, gluttony can be a form of greediness in bed. Now, I’m sure that *most* people you meet won’t object to lots and lots of oral sex. I love it. My partners have always loved it. Everyone’s happy, right? Chah.

But are you really listening to what your partner wants? There’s an epidemic sweep the world right now: bad oral sex. And that really sucks. Or blows. Or licks. Whatever.

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Let’s start with the sin that interests you all the most: Lust. Even the word sounds naughty, doesn’t it? There’s a great many people that will stand on a soapbox and tell you that any kind of sex other than done for procreation, is horrible, wrong, kinky, raunchy, evil stuff. You can believe what you want–there’s a reason human beings were created in a way that makes sex feel soooooo good. I believe we were meant to enjoy it.

So how can lust in bed be a bad thing? Well, lust takes on a different light when you’re in a committed relationship with someone but you find yourself thinking of other men or women (or both) all of the time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t look. We’re only human. And who here masturbates to his or her partner EVERY time? No one raising their hands on that one, I bet. Lust only becomes dangerous when that’s all you think about or if that’s what you imagine when you’re romping with your partner. If you can’t focus on your partner completely, especially when you’re actually going at it, you can’t have good sex.

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