Between the Sheets

When men have a fantasy woman - and let’s face it, most men do - does it cause more harm than good to a relationship? Most women would vehemently answer, “Yes!” But it isn’t always harmful.

First you have to consider the two people in the relationship - how does each party feel about fantasies? Fantasy lovers? Does it make them feel inadequate? Does it make your wife feel like she could never measure up to the J. Lo in your brain? If that’s how your fantasy woman makes her feel than you definately have a problem.

First and foremost, whether you are a guy or a girl, your job is to make your partner feel like he or she is the most desireable and sexy thing on the planet. And if not on the planet, at the very least to you. They should know that when your hands touch them, when you’re kissing them, when you’re making love, there is no one else but them on your mind. If they don’t believe that then it is definately time to put away the pictures, the videos, the movies or whatever you might have.

Ladies, this can apply to you, too. Do all those hot and spicy romance books you read make him doubt himself? What do you mean you don’t know. Ask him! Guys don’t usually volunteer that information. You have to pry it out of him. Some guys feel like they can never measure up to the hot bods on the cover and the expert lovers in your books so they stop trying. If you think this might even remotely be a possibility, put the books away and make your own hot romance. Write a letter or a fantasy and tell him that this is better than any story you’ve ever read. Every one needs some ego stroking - guys and girls!

Now, some people know that fantasies are just fantasies. They know that it has nothing to do with them. My fiance’s fantasy girl is Alyssa Milano - there are a lot of Alyssa Milano pics on our computer. And I’m fine with that. She has nothing on me - you know why? ‘Cause she’s not here and she’s never going to be. And even if she was, I know that he’d pick me over her any day because I love him. I have several fantasy guys and a couple fantasy girls and he just indulges my mind. If they are porn stars he purposely rents videos with them in it. LOL - he knows its all a game and when it comes to real life he’s the only one I really want.

So, it’s all a matter of perspective. If that fantasy person is making your partner feel unworthy or unattractive it’s time to let them go and focus on the person that is with you. If fantasy people are just another sexual game, then have fun with it. But always, always, remember that there are two of you in the relationship and you both have to be ok with whatever is turning you on.