Between the Sheets

Let’s not dance around the subject - a lot of people reading this right now are not in monogamous relationships. And hey, that’s fine. In fact, around here, baby, it’s preferred.

However (and this is a big however)…if you’ve got more than one partner, there’s a good chance that you partners have more than one partner too. And when that happens, there’s a good chance of giving into one of the most dangerous of all of the seven deadly sins - wrath. Wrath isn’t just anger, although that is part of it. Wrath is a burning, passionate anger, fueled by envy, jealousy, or vengeance usually. Wrath isn’t just a fuming anger that simmers as you sulk. Wrath is violent. Wrath requires action.

Wrath leads to trouble.

And it’s really easy to act out in anger when your partner has multiple partners. I’m not saying that this happens to everyone. Swinging can be quite rewarding for some couples, and if you’re single, you may actually enjoy a lifestyle in which you don’t have to be sexually and emotionally responsible with just a single other person. Yes, it can work.

The trouble comes when you begin to feel more strongly about one of the people. Now, most couples who swing will tell you that they feel much, much, much more strongly about their spouses than about any of their other partners. That can lead to problems. To be a success swinging couple, you have look at why exactly you’re doing it. Wanting to please your partner is a good start, but that can’t be the only reason why you’re swinging. Do you get off on watching the person you love (or, at least, care more strongly about) be with someone else? Do you like it when he or she watches you? Do you like being with multiple people at once?

If you don’t…if you’re swinging because your partner wants to…you’ll start to feel jealous, envious, resentful, and unhappy. You’ll begin to give into wrath. This can also happen with if you’re not half of a couple. If you begin to desire one of your partners over another, it’s very easy to feel angry at anyone else who is gaining his or her favor.

Is wrath beginning to grip you? There’s only one possible solution. Back away. If you’re part of a swinging couple, you and your partner need to reevaluate your relationship. If you’re living the single life, perhaps the best solution is to move on from the person that is, for lack of a better term “getting to you” or to consider a committed relationship with that person.

In any case, sex shouldn’t be angry. Even the craziest BDSM isn’t about wrath toward another person. Sex should be fun, liberating, and intense. Sex should not be unhappy.