Between the Sheets

I was with my first husband in the living room of our apartment…

You should know that this nightmare began when I married young. And while the demise of that relationship is not a story for this column—the good, bad and interesting sex that occurred may just well be! Perhaps I’ll guest write on Long Relationships, describing how NOT to go about forming a lasting relationship.

You should also know that the porn watching together had NOTHING to do with the ruin of it. I advocate the use of all medium in arousal: toys, videos, live action…

We were finally wealthy enough to afford cable and were lured into the PPV channels by sheer boredom. Naïve babe that I was, I sat on the couch fully clothed, hands fidgeting and my legs curled to the side of me. What was the black “you can order by…” display turned to film. Bodies, male and female, were intertwined in an orgy of sexual activity.

What I remember most is all the noises, the moaning and groaning and constant “Oh yeah! Oh baby, fuck it!” coming out of this woman’s mouth. I remember thinking that I might be more comfortable if it was muted and then thinking that would be a bad idea because the only sound would be our nervous breathing.

It certainly wasn’t my new husband’s first time watching porn, but it was my virgin experience. I remember having no idea how to act. He was watching me, watch the film. I was pretending to watch the film, but couldn’t because I was so nervous about the fact that he was watching me!

I wasn’t positive that I could watch the film without laughing much less watch the film and start playing with him. So, $15.95 later, we were just as bored as we were before, but now my cheeks and face were flushed and my panties moist.

Needless to say we didn’t communicate well about it (about anything for that matter) so bringing porn into an already puritanical bedroom was rather silly.

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Nowadays, I prefer live action to film. We’ve been to a few clubs that have socializing downstairs and play upstairs. They permit voyeurs such as us linger casually for a bit (not too long) in the recesses of the rooms, warming ourselves up to play with others. It works much better for a variety of reasons:

1. Whatever the cover is, it’s more value for your dollar than a $15.95 low budget film.
2. You go to a club like that, specifically with the idea of having sex with your partner and/or other people.

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Your first experience with porn…do you remember it? Or do all of the magazines, movies and websites blur together in an endless array of breasts, asses and other sensual parts leaving you to wonder—Who was in the room with me? Was I alone? Was I with a girlfriend or boyfriend?

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