Writing a good sex ad/profile, Part I
If you remember my post for Global Orgasm Day Celebration, you’ll remember that J and I are planning a party for that evening. We are creating an internet profile/ad and looking for partner(s) that will help us celebrate that day in all its glory. In creating the profile for us, I have thought of the countless ads I’ve posted before for various things. And, in my mind, it is an art form.
There are a variety of things to consider before you throw something up for the world to see…
Tip #1: Decide upon your intent. If you want a loving, sexual relationship you’d write a different kind of profile than if you were looking for a quick romp in the sack.
Example of a romantic ad:
No matter how impossible we all believe it to be, we seek it out. We crave that physical, emotional, and spiritual connection with someone that can withstand the weathering of time. This isn’t the forum for it. It’s “supposed” to happen by chance, in the poetry section of some obscure bookstore that smells of the aged bindings and tattered pages of decades ago. It’s “supposed” to happen in some casual setting that turns out to be of mutual interest–standing in a museum, admiring Rodin sculptures or paintings by Chagall. You bump into someone from behind as you move backward, mesmerized by the work before you.
But, it doesn’t happen then. Perhaps it could have, were you not as shy or if the right words rolled off your tongue. It could happen, if it were in fact, the “right” person in the bookstore, or the museum.
And, you’re not the sort of person that goes to clubs, but rather to the theatre at every chance you get, to the coffeehouse, to the park, on hikes around the bay–someplace secluded, isolated, and that deserves to be enjoyed by two rather than one.
It’s sometimes not till we’ve already chosen a course in life that we realize our wants. A friend recently pointed that out to me. But, it’s not too late to seek that which we crave–to seek it crazily and passionately though it may be foolish. If that part of me which seeks that love dies, I’ll feel it, be consumed by it.
Perhaps this is just a lesson not to ramble in the morning before coffee. But, I’d like someone who has those same thoughts to send me a note. Things you should know about me (physically and otherwise)…I’m 5′7″, about 155 lbs., shoulder length dark red hair, green eyes, fair skinned…
Example of a purely sexual ad:
My husband and I have been swingers for about 3 years now. In that time, we have shared our bed with a few couples and with one female. Now, we’d like to invite a mature, intelligent, sexy (this doesn’t mean perfect physique…this means comfortable in your own skin) male to our bed. My husband is potentially bi-curious, but has never had contact with another male while we play. So, this isn’t a must.
He: 6′2″, brown hair, blue eyes, average build
Me: 5′8″, dark red shoulder length hair, green eyes, fair skin
Email us if you’re interested. NO ONE-LINERS. We would prefer that you have at least some experience in mfm encounters. If not, a hungry appetite and a passion for exploration will do! Extra points for a pic, but it isn’t required at first.
Example of a swinger ad:
Oh, the words “fun” and “down to earth” come to mind, but those are just so overused! We enjoy nights out, especially with friends, but we can also be found enjoying an evening at home as well. We love to entertain, cook, spend time with friends and family.
We have been in the lifestyle (as “outsiders”–thank you Primetime for that lovely phrase) for about 3 years now. We have had good experiences and bad, and have learned from each and every one. The sharing of those experiences truly has brought us closer together, and we look forward to more.
Our schedule is fairly busy with family, but we are flexible given a few days notice. We would love to find friends/playmates that we could see regularly. In our mind, there is nothing better than a friendship that forms…that just happens to have benefits!! It’s the Convenience Store of adult relationships so to speak…
Our interests outside the bedroom? We love cooking (as we mentioned), hiking, biking, playing tennis, going to concerts, jazz clubs, wine tasting, etc.
Our interests inside the bedroom? (I don’t think it’s possible to create such a list, so let’s accomplish it in reverse by saying what we are NOT into). We will not do separate room swap. It must be same room. We are into bdsm a great deal, but it’s not a requirement. There is much sensuality in the room with four people without all of that! That said, there are a few things within bdsm that aren’t up our alley (e.g., anything that is on the inside should stay there..no extreme blood or poo play…that’s just nasty)
ONE FINAL NOTE: As much as we truly are into the lifestyle and looking to expand our experiences and meet new people, sometimes our schedule just doesn’t allow it. If you email us with a “wanna meet tonight?” we probably can’t do it. We only write this because our schedule has put some people off. We totally understand their feelings, and just hope to avoid disappointment on both sides in the future. Tricky schedules, but oh the fun we’ll have when we ultimately connect!
Part II will focus on the actual ad that J and I wrote for this specific purpose and the flaws within the ads above…feel free to comment!
sex, internet profile, sex ad, profile, intimacy, sexual
December 13th, 2006 at 1:25 pm
Wow, can I send C. to you if she ever wants to write an ad?
Nothing beats experience.
And I like the part about red hair….
December 13th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Oh, there are many things wrong with these ads, though they are a good base for what to write in some circumstances. They are all ads that I have published at some point.
I have a feeling C would know exactly what she does and does not want should she ever write an ad…
December 13th, 2006 at 4:45 pm
“I have a feeling C would know exactly what she does and does not want should she ever write an ad…”
You’re undoubtedly right, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to hire you for a tutor….
April 25th, 2007 at 9:20 am
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