Between the Sheets

As many different directions as I could go with these initial posts, I thought indulging in a virgin experience with my ravenous readers would be the way to go. We’re strangers, after all. Our sexual tastes are undoubtedly different, so what better way to open up the conduit of sharing than to relate a first experience.

I was 18. It was the fall of my freshman year at college—all eyes were on a budding young mind. But, with the newfound freedom of college came a budding of a different sort. I looked for and found a different set of friends from the sometimes-cliquey high-school crowd I had endured for four years. I found religion—and all of the eager “witnesses� to go with it.

I developed a fondness for an older guy. He was nine years my senior and had a very rough exterior (yes, the quintessential bad boy). He stood the same height as me, if I allowed my shoulders to slouch. But, what mesmerized most at first glance was the scar that began at the crown of his head, under his hair, and came down at the outer corner of his eye. To be honest, I didn’t notice it much. I liked making him laugh and he was perhaps the first man to ever call me sexy. The allure of laughter and flattery—they do not always make good bedfellows with a potential lover.

That was enough to bring us closer together though. First base, second base, third base, and [back to his parent’s] home—after a stop by Planned Parenthood for condoms. It’s more comedic than anything. In thinking about it now, I can’t stop laughing. And, I imagine my much more seasoned sexual being standing in the corner of that bedroom, head shaking in disbelief.

His room was dark and smelled of mothballs and incense. There was a dampness to everything that made getting comfortable impossible. The cold, rough comforter over his bed was worn and faded. So, I closed my eyes. We began kissing and fondling each other. He made some vague attempt at asking me if I was ok with what was about to happen. I must have nodded, too shy to even want my own voice to echo in the room with that notion.

I remember the radio playing, a few seconds into some Shania Twain country song…pants off of one leg. Then, his hands stopped roaming my body. He fumbled briefly to open the condom wrapper—I swore you could hear the sound above the lawn mower outside. By the end of the country song, I was trying to untangle my pants from my left leg, so that I could slip back into them. There was no great pain or pleasure. It simply was. It felt more like a right of passage than a monumental spiritual awakening. It was something that occurred in November.

If it has not yet happened to you, remember these things:
1. Safety above lust and living in the moment—you don’t want your first experience to be something you can literally never get over. Discuss birth control/STD protection beforehand, or do your own research and take care of it yourself. Be prepared to insist on what makes you comfortable.
2. Comfort in the experience goes beyond talking about birth control methods. Think of things that are pleasing or soothing to you such as candles, massage.
3. Don’t rush your first experience, but don’t over plan it either. It won’t be the benchmark for all other experiences. That’s just not possible.
4. At the very least if you are not in a relationship with your first lover, make sure you know them. A friend can be loyal to the experience for you and make it as pleasing as possible.

Now, I’ve shown you mine…you show me yours!

sex, first time, virginity, sexual experience, sexuality, sexual safety