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Have a Giggle or Two

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Do you like laughing? Who doesn’t? It really is true that laughter is the best medicine for a wide range of things - a rough day at work, crabby kids that are getting bored with summer already, anxiety, and so on. So, because you’re all adults, here are some jokes to help you either get on with your day or wind up your day:

Top 10 Things you don’t want your girl to say in bed:

10. See, Monistat doubles as a lubricant
9. Maybe you should put your clothes back on
8. Would you just hold me?
7. Guess you forgot to take your Viagra again
6. Doesn’t it feel natural? My surgeon is a genius
5. Be careful, you’re crushing my crabs
4. Move your head I can’t see the TV.
3. Your dad’s so much better than this
2. If you feel any rough spots, don’t worry, it’s just warts
1. Is it in yet?

Top 10 Things You WISH she’d say after a blowjob:

10. Gee, that’s yummy
9. How much do I owe you?
8. I’m gonna tell all my friends how great you are!
7. You really quenched my thirst
6. Lets pop my cherry next!
5. You make a great pacifier
4. You’re so huge, I could barely get you in my mouth
3. More, please
2. Oops! I spilled some! I’ll just save it for later
1. I’m drinking milk for good

Top 10 Hints She Might Be a Lesbian:

10. Won’t stop searching for your clit
9. Call your penis “putrid man meat”
8. Strange messages from Janet Reno on the answering machine.
7. Vomits every time you have sex
6. Has “Lisa” tattooed on her ass
5. Makes you wear a kd lang mask while you do it
4. Begs you to get breast implants
3. Gets moist at seafood restaurants
2. Yells out your sister’s name during sex
1. Tuna breath


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Cock. Hard. Pussy. Wet. Tongue. Throb. Sweat. Impale. Well, you made it so far; you might as well make yourself cozy. Isn't it amazing how all of those words have completely mundane definitions until you link them all together?

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