Come hold me?
When I first started reading Greg’s article at Urban Monarch on Sex: The Art of Cuddling, I thought of the countless times that J has wanted to cuddle, especially post-coitus. I am a bit more of a man about it (using Greg’s analogy)—getting up soon after sex to clean up, freshen up and then come back to bed. I tend to cuddle then, but much prefer to sleep coiled in my own comfortable position rather than on the body or near the body of my spouse. It’s actually become quite a ritual though I didn’t intend it that way. And as such, it became a source of discord between us, albeit briefly, the other evening.
Greg’s article makes some excellent points about the intimacy behind cuddling and its myriad purposes. But, the article on MSN (and the study) that Urban Monarch sites is flawed in my opinion. I know not enough about the correlations that they are trying to make between intimacy and stress reduction to understand if they make a good point.
“For couples wanting to heat up their relationships, the survey found that those who kiss regularly and spontaneously not only have a closer emotional connection than those who skimp on cuddling outside the bedroom, but also decreased levels of stress.
“The less stress and depression, the higher the level of intimacy because you have the mental energy to invest in the relationship,” says Berman.â€? (Courtesy of MSNBC article)
I am inclined to say from my own experience that cuddling is great, but if your bank account is empty a hug won’t fix it. If you are in the midst of turmoil with family, curling up on your lover’s chest may be comforting but it won’t heal the quarrel with the in-laws.
What I enjoyed most about Greg’s article was the deeper acknowledgement that cuddling, touching and kissing out of the context of the bedroom are all forms of loving, supportive communication to share with your partner. And, in the busy of our lives, sometimes that is enough in moments that cannot breed anything else. It makes it easier to hop into the sack, when the evening has been spent in moments of closeness.
One last footnote: A Cuddle Party? Tom, this sounds right up your alley…haha
intimacy, cuddling, sex, relationships
November 29th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Hi Lola,
Glad you liked the article. Good hygeine and a clean body before cuddling are always a good thing in my book.
-Greg
November 29th, 2006 at 4:39 pm
That’s required even if you’re in my kitchen, Greg…cuddling, sex, and kissing that just goes without saying!
Also read Tom Paine’s article on cuddling at Polyamorously Perverse
November 29th, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Only if I can “cuddle” with you, dear Lola.
Seriously, it makes my skin crawl. I’m just not New Age at all. Vegans make me uncomfortable. Not vegetarians, but people who won’t use latex condoms because there are animal by-products in latex….
Although I like necking. C. and I kiss often. It’s almost as intimate as cunnilingus, and I wonder how I might react seeing C. kiss another man during orgasm.